A parent’s instinct is to protect his or her child from difficulties. No matter how small the issue, they want to save and support their children in all walks of life. Trying to create a safe environment and meeting of their needs is a good thing but going overboard and smothering them is not good for either of you. You will only cause hindrance on their growth by restricting them from reaching their full potential. Your child can only grow, if you let them explore, take risks and solve problems on their own. They will learn to be independent when you stop discouraging responsibility. Here is a list of signs to help you identify, if you’re being overprotective on your child:

Micromanager

You interfere and try to rule every little decision like food, clothing, grades, hobbies, friends etc. Set them free, let them eat and wear what they like, let them sleepover at a friend’s place, let them choose their hobby. When you try to micromanage things for your child, you will become an obstacle preventing them from knowing about oneself. Your child might become lazy or think that they are incapable of making choices. This might lead to a lack of self-confidence in them. The idea is to bring up kids with confidence and creativity. Let them do what interests them

Preventing Failures

Parents’ cannot accept their children failing at things. They assume it’s a result of bad parenting. Allow your child to fail and learn from its mistakes. You never know, they might excel at it the second time. If they failed to complete their homework, they will learn to finish and submit it on time eventually after being reprimanded in school. If they fail to do well in their exams, they will study harder the next time and score well. Don’t expect perfection at the first go. Allow them to test the waters before pushing them to swim. Share your own stories and experiences of failures. Tell them how you overcame them and how that has changed you. This will make them believe that it’s not impossible to get back on your feet once you fail.

Responsibility

Teaching your child to be responsible at an early age is good. Stop doing their work for them even though you can get it done faster by yourself. Stop feeding them, cleaning their room, making their bed and putting their clothes in the wash. Teach them how, the first time. Let them do it on their own the second time. Assign them with age-appropriate household chores. As they grow they will learn to take more responsibilities and contribute around the house. Let them exercise these tasks on their own even if it means that you have to step back at times.

Consoling 

Stop shielding them from every little thing that would hurt your child. Stop pampering them more than necessary for an innocent bike injury. Provide them comfort, kiss and hug them, and talk to them and explain why they are feeling hurt or let down. They must pass through the process of pain to grow stronger emotionally. Portray the reality as it is and help them grow a thicker skin. Don’t go overboard by compensating for their pain by making trips to the toy store, ice-cream place or an amusement park just because of a few bad experiences.

Privacy

Privacy is a need for any human being. Any child no matter how small will have thoughts and feelings that they would want to keep for themselves. Let them have their privacy. Let them shut their doors and lock their wardrobes on occasions. If you think that they are doing it more than necessary ask them what’s happening in school, with their friends, involve yourself a little. Stop calling and texting constantly, stalking their social media accounts frequently, sneaking into their phones without their permission. Don’t demand on getting information about every little thing in their life, don’t practice helicopter parenting. Trust them, don’t make them resent you. 

Branching Out

Your child wanted to learn ballet during the summer but you enrol her to Bharatanatyam. Your child wants to join the carol singing team along with their friend at school but you force them to join the volleyball team, because of the physical activity. Though you are looking out for their best interests, you absentmindedly making decisions for them by blocking out their interests at heart. Stop preventing them from branching out, let them choose what interests them. If they like it they will pursue it further. If not there’s always next year to try on a new sport or a hobby.

Allow them to process through life experiences normally. When you try to control things too much the consequences as a result could fire back at you. Work collectivity and consider their feelings too. Don’t expect perfection, because nobody’s achieved it yet!